


I've Seen Your Flag on the Marble Arch

by JGoose13



Series: A Cold and Broken Hallelujah [2]
Category: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, Captain America (Movies), DCU (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Again, I have no idea what else to tag..., Just really sad Steeb, M/M, Reckless!Steve, Sort of suicidal Steve, Steve can't deal with his grief, Steve's just lost af and is acting a fool, brief/implied mentions of suicide, implied Clark/Steve, my brief interpretation of Civil War events
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-28
Updated: 2016-03-28
Packaged: 2018-05-29 18:27:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6387772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JGoose13/pseuds/JGoose13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>**CONTAINS SPOILERS FROM BVS**<br/>**CONTAINS THINGS THAT MAY HAPPEN IN CIVIL WAR**</p><p>Steve was never the same...</p>
            </blockquote>





	I've Seen Your Flag on the Marble Arch

**Author's Note:**

> **CONTAINS SPOILERS FROM BVS**
> 
> **MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH**
> 
> **My interpretation of what may happen in the events of Civil War**

Steve was never the same. 

Right down to the very marrow of his serum enhanced bones; he knew that he would never be the same. If he was honest with himself, which he rarely was, he could not find it in himself to even care, to face this ugly fact. 

The months passed by in a blur, throwing himself wholly into mission after mission. With bruised face and battered body, the captain missed many a look passed between his teammates. Pointed looks over the sweat-matted flaxen hair of his head, over his prone body laid out on a stretcher, and over the jutted out bone of his leg as he lay in agony on a hospital gurney. 

But the physical agony was nothing like the mental anguish he felt every moment, awake or otherwise…

Sam was the first one to attempt the intervention. But Steve, stubborn and stalwart Steve, would hear none of his good friend’s words. Deflection was his favorite game. The kind where it was a competition within himself to see how long he could keep up this charade of being a human being. Instead of the shell that he was…

Natasha was next, her ire more palpable than Sam’s, who’d tried the ‘good guy’ approach. Words only turned to a heated argument between them, and then threats.

_If you don’t get your act together, Rogers, I will pull you from leadership._

That promise only sobered Steve enough to accomplish one mission with out mishap.

The truth was… Steve knew deep down exactly what he was doing. 

_Reckless._

_Uncaring._

**Suicidal.**

It wasn’t as if the captain had never heard those words as a descriptor of himself, but these destructive behaviors only grew worse with every passing day since Clark Kent had been covered in earth and dust.

This was the only way that Steve knew how to cope. This was the only way that he could get through the every day mundane task of _living_. What was the point? He didn’t have Clark. His grief stricken mind had him convinced that he didn’t have _anyone_. 

A clear lie. 

No man or soldier or leader had ever been gifted with such a wonderful and supportive team as his current Avengers line up. They’d once been such a lively group, full of laughter and happiness and professionalism… 

Now they were falling apart. They were falling apart because Steve was falling apart. The heart and soul of the team had lost said heart and said soul and, well, the will to live. Steve didn’t know how to keep himself together. He didn’t _want_ to keep himself together.

There’d been so many things he’d done _wrong_ since that Kansas day Lois Lane had wrapped her arm around his, forcing him to give parting words to the love that he’d been cheated of.

First, the bridge incident. The Avengers had tracked HYDRA operatives in their very backyard, cornering them on the Brooklyn _damn_ Bridge of all things. Steve had had Rhodey drop him in from a quinjet, only to nearly beat one of the HYDRA agents to death in a blind frenzy before taking a swan dive into the frigid East River after the guy, with the express purpose of, well, finishing the job…

The next incident had him out of commission in a hospital bed for a week, nearly going insane from the boredom and the lack of movement and purpose. It’d been Europe this time; some left over HYDRA base that needed razing. The captain had run headlong into the fray, with no clear plan and no extraction. The only thing that he knew from the blind rage was to accomplish the mission. By whatever means necessary. He’d taken a couple of bullets to the torso and thigh, one perforating a lung and nicking a few blood vessels. 

The compound fracture in his leg had had nothing to do with an Avengers mission. A quiet weekend had Steve indulging in a motorcycle ride through the leafy roads of upstate New York. It was a beautiful spring, so many colorful and fragrant flowers blooming, painting the world in a serene picture that Steve wasn’t buying. There has been no one else on the road. He’d wanted to open up the throttle just a little. And what do you know; the business end of the motorcycle had found itself wrapped around a tree. The blonde had been lucky he didn’t snap his neck.

Lois came the closest. 

For a brief, shining moment, she’d made him see how his reckless actions were destroying the team. 

_Clark would be ashamed of you right now, Steve_.

Those words had hit close. But close to what? There was an emptiness in his chest unlike anything he’d ever felt before. An empty black hole that had once held the strong, red, beating heart of a kind and compassionate man that loved with not just that organ but his whole being. That man was no more.

Lois had come the closest to convincing Steve to seek the help he so desperately needed. 

General Ross came the next day, and the rest, as they say, was history.

The light in the dark was Bucky. 

It seemed, for moments, that Steve had his best friend back. The same best friend he’d marched solo into a HYDRA base for. And the same best friend he’d burn the world down to keep out of another shady organization’s hands. Shady was probably a harsh term, but the American government conveniently wanted Bucky relinquished to them for… what exactly? Trust for them was nonexistent. What exactly would they do to poor James Buchanan Barnes, whom had been through so much already?

And if that wasn’t half the reason Steve went to war with his friends, his family, then the other half was just on principle. 

Waiting for an oversight committee to give his team permission to save people’s lives? He had never heard anything more ridiculous in his life.

Not to mention… **Clark**. Clark was truly his major driving factor. 

Or rather, _Superman_. 

It’d been almost a headhunt for the alien, whether Superman was needed, who he should answer to, if he’d believed himself to be above the law or the will of the people…

Lies. Deceit. The appearance of Crossbones and Zemo…

Something sinister had yet again been at work, pitting friend against friend, family against family. But in the end, Steve had realized that more harm than good was coming of this. Turned out, the old Steve Rogers hadn’t completely disappeared…

So he surrendered himself…

… Only for his run on this big, blue marble to finally end. A long time coming, Steve would have surely told anyone who would listen. 

And as the lifeblood dripped steadily from his body, not the coldness of his limbs, nor the hard ground, nor the pleas of Bucky and others, could have stopped Steve from finally giving into that darkness. 

Greeting it as an old friend.

A long-range sniper rifle glinted in the sunlight, a scarred smirk on the other end of the scope, Crossbones had accomplished what nothing or no one ever could.

The death of Captain America. 

Captain America received all the rights and honors of a complete military fanfare. The twenty-one guns, the bagpipes, the parade through Washington, laying in state in the Capitol…

Steve Rogers, however, received none of these things. An innocuous bouquet of flowers laid at the foot of a tombstone that had long since bore his name. Laid to rest with his mother and father. 

The world was never the same.

**Author's Note:**

> So, I couldn't put this to rest. I had to keep going. And I may still keep going...
> 
> Come see me over on Tumblr on my personal [here](http://jgoose13.tumblr.com).
> 
> Or come chat on my [Steve RP blog](http://symboltothenation.tumblr.com) where I also will freak over Supercap things.


End file.
